To be a hybrid.

I am not a religious person. But I do love a good hymn. One of my favourites is ‘To Be a Pilgrim’ aka ‘He Who Would Valiant Be’. What a stonkingly rousing number. Stirring stuff. I’m adapting it for my campaign – ‘To Be a Hybrid’.

Since I started out on my journey as a CWAP a fair number of aims/targets/goals have come and gone. Some I’ve achieved; some I didn’t/haven’t yet; some I discarded. I have a new one. I feel quite strongly about it and have done for a while. It’s linked with one of my original core aims. I want to be a hybrid author. What does that mean? Possibly not what you’re thinking.

Before I even thought about writing I was a book collector. I love first editions. That’s my thing. I love the physical book in its first published state. I love everything about a real book. For me books are multi-sensory pleasures. The only sense in which a book doesn’t appeal to me is taste (as in food). This is based on my experiences of licking books – don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it, although be careful where you do – I got thrown out of Waterstones for running my tongue up the spine of a certain JK Rowling. (Book not author. But I’m up for it if she is.)

Among the things I love about first editions is seeing them displayed on a bookshelf, spine out, the gaily coloured dust-jackets with the (to me) all important publisher’s name standing out – a seal of industry approval. When I started writing that was one of the things that I wanted for my books – a dust-jacket with a proper publisher’s name on the spine. I still want it. (But I’d settle for paperbacks.)

It seems quite popular in self-publishing to activate the Print On Demand (POD) facility with Amazon. And why not? It’s a way to get your book into print. It’s a way for readers to find you, to appreciate you, to share you, to fund you. It’s another way for an author to spread the word about their work. I haven’t gone down the POD route yet. There are no physical copies of my books out there. I have probably hurt myself by choosing not to get involved with POD. I really do want to have physical copies of my books. But I really do not want to be the one who commissions them. I want my physical books to have a proper publisher’s name on the spine – not Createspace or blank. I’m not yet ready to strangle my own dreams.

Am I a snob about it? I think so. Is it a form a vanity? Undoubtedly. People can think what they like about my position and my personality. I don’t care and I’m not hurting anyone (except myself.)

It get’s worse.

I don’t just want to be traditionally published. I want my cake and I want to be allowed to eat it. I want to be a new kind of hybrid author. A ‘trindie’. It could become trendy. I could be the first trendy trindie. I want a traditional publisher to take control of my physical books but that’s all. I want to retain control of the digital and audio rights to my books. I’m sure there are those who know something of the way things are in publishing these days who now need to go and change their underpants because laughing long and hard can do that to you.

I’m sure there are dozens of reasons people could give me why this isn’t ever likely to happen. (Someone probably once told Neil Armstrong that he should stop dreaming.) I’m sticking behind the reasons that it could work. Everywhere you look in the book-selling industry people are saying that the players need to adapt to new opportunities and new ways of doing things. This is a new way and the only reason it couldn’t work is because people wouldn’t want it to. That’s all. I’m still hoping to find the forward-thinker who is open to something different.

A WHITE-KNUCKLE CHRISTMAS 1030 1Did I mention that A White-Knuckle Christmas (Romney and Marsh File #7) is out tomorrow? Yeah, I know – it’s the Easter weekend. What can I tell you? I can be unconventional.

Available from all good ebook retailers spelt like this Amazon.  Pre-order here Amazon UK and here Amazon US .

I have two weeks left in Turkey. Yesterday I hit 50,000 words of B&C#3. It will be touch and go whether I finish that before my bell tolls.

After the horse has bolted…

A WHITE-KNUCKLE CHRISTMAS 1030 1

For a fiction writer, sometimes I’m such an unimaginative divot. Mind you, hindsight is a wonderful thing.

Yesterday I posted about my Kindle Scout success. After three years plus of blogging, yesterday’s post generated the most hits and most social media attention of any blog post I’ve written. I’ve written and posted over 200.

Why didn’t I think to tag a bit on the end mentioning the imminent release of the next and possibly last installment in the Romney and Marsh Files? Maybe a couple of links? Talk about missed opportunities. With such a demonstrative lack of awareness regarding the chance for a bit of self-promotion it’s no wonder I’m not a household name for the right reasons.

A White-Knuckle Christmas (Romney and Marsh File #7) is available for pre-order here Amazon UK and here Amazon US . Release date is 26th March. Less than a week away.

This might encourge a few fence sitters: for anyone who looks forward to an R&M File in the hope that the author has finally grown out of including ‘funny’ scenes set in toilets, you’ll be sorry to learn that #7 has not one but two! I’ve spoilt you. Write about what you know, they said.

*

NB: Today is a special day for Kurds of the region. Official government announcements warn of the danger of incidents of terrorist outrage in the country today. Any one who watches the news will know the sort of thing I’m referring to. One common direct result of that sort of thing in Turkey is that Facebook and other social media outlets can become virtually impossible to access. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to tag this post. If I don’t answer any comments today that’s why.

Some good news to share.

Deep State (Large)

Many of you will know that last Saturday, 12th March, my Kindle Scout 30 day campaign ended for Deep State (Acer Sansom #4). For any one who doesn’t know about Kindle Scout here is a link that explains things. Kindle Scout

This week has been a waiting game to see whether the book would be chosen by Amazon for publication through its Kindle Press imprint . Yesterday, Friday,  I received an email from Amazon letting me know that the campaign had been successful.

Those of you who nominated the book should receive a thank you notification from Amazon, but I would like to repeat my sincere thanks to all those who nominated, shared, encouraged and helped to otherwise spread the word. Once again: writers are nothing without readers (and supporters).

Just a reminder, all who registered a nomination for Deep State will receive a free ebook in advance of publication day.

Despite best intentions to not get too ‘involved’ with the minutia of the campaign it was difficult not to: check ups of page views, Hot and Trending stats, pestering readers and supporters for nominations, for examples.

I’m going to devote this blog-post to providing some feedback on my experience of the process in case any one ‘out there’ is looking for information on what to expect and what they need to do to be successful. (Disclaimer: apart from the screen grabs of my stats it’s all guesswork.)

During the campaign, nominees get access to three stats in graph and chart form below. A bit ignorant, I went into the campaign believing that one simply must perform well every day to be in with a chance of getting chosen. My stats show you that you don’t need to. This leads me to consider other reasons why DS was chosen.

  1. I have a fairly healthy publishing history with Amazon. You might say a proven seller. (I believe that in my case this would have had a siginifcant influence on Amazon’s decision.)
  2. The cover is, I think, very good. (It’s looks professionally produced not home-made. First appearancess and all that.)
  3. My campaign stats are OKish. Probably just OK enough to get whoever makes the decisions to take a second look at the book.
  4. DS was properly and thoroughly prepared for submission. (I would be happy to self-publish it tomorrow in its current state.)
  5. I think DS is a good read. (I know. They all say that.)

As can be seen from the chart below DS did not spend a lot of time in Hot & Trending during the campaign: 206 hours out of a possible 720. That is not particularly encouraging. It received a good boost at the beginning because I posted on my blog and social media and supporters responded wonderfully. The spike in the middle was a Facebook post trying to reach any one who had missed news of the campaign. The spike at the end, I suspect, came because on the last day of campaign all books feature on a sidebar category ‘Ending Soon’ and many Kindle Scouters will only look then and if they have a vote to use up will take a punt on a book in the hope of a free copy. Just my feeling for the system.

H&T

 

Campaign views per day graph. Nothing to get too excited about.

views

And finally the ‘where did the traffic come from’ pie-chart.

traffic

Based on the above stats it would be a confident person to bet on their book getting through. But selection is, obviously, not just a matter of stats. I did some digging, like you do, and found a couple of other successful candidates who had not set the world alight with their campaign stats. This, I believe, should give encouragement to anyone thinking of submitting to KS who does not have a huge social media reach or the time and energy to spend thirty days and nights badgering the online world to support their entry. Get the other things right (see 1-5 above) and you are in with a chance.

It’s worth mentioning that I came across a few past candidates who have also shared their experiences and their stats. Some had not been successful and their stats put mine in the shade (more than double my time in H&T and one guy claimed to have over 6000 pages views.) I’m not speaking about them individually when I say that it’s good to know that just because someone is able to drum up a lot of support for their book they will not automatically succeed.

The bottom line is stats are not the be all and end all of a Kindle Scout campaign. Getting yourself noticed with some H&T hours is not a bad thing and something everyone should aim for.

The main advantage that I associate with being selected for publication is that Amazon will, probably, want to make the most of their investments by giving the books it takes on some valuable exposure in the world’s biggest-by-far, highly competetive ebook marketplace. That will be good for the book in question, the author’s name (so long as the book is reviewed favourably by readers), and possible positive knock-on effect on an author’s other books.

In my particular case, I hope that the other three books in the Acer series will receive some benefit from having Amazon get behind #4. We will see.

Other details involved are: there is a $1500 advance on future sales. Advance being the operative word. It’s not a prize. Who knows how long that will take to make? Royalties are paid on a 50/50 split on the net revenues, as opposed to 70/30 in the author’s favour when you self-publish. The contract states that Amazon reserve the right to produce an audio book. What fun that would be but realistically as the book is #4 in a series, it’s unlikely that Amazon will choose that option. (If they do I want to audition.) As I understand it, successful candidates also get a Kindle Scout T-shirt.

Another potential benefit of being selected is that it’s something to go on the writing CV. I am thinking seriously about touting something of mine to agents because I do still and will always want to be traditionally published. (Just one book. Is that too much to ask?) When the time comes to make my submissions the Kindle Scout submission will be something to put in the covering letter along with a copy of my Cycling Proficiency certificate.

It’ll likely be a few weeks before the book becomes available. Amazon and I have some paperwork to attend to and, as I understand it, when I have had a chance to review the manuscript I submitted one last time Amazon will then pass it on to their editorial services who will go over it looking for ‘improvements’ that can be made. I notice from the Kindle Scout page that some books have been in the production stage for several weeks.

Lastly, I want to say what a truly wonderful community the writing community is. Readers and fellow writers. Within minutes of posting my news on social-media I was inundated with messages of congratulations and good will. In what can sometimes be a rather unpleasant world it’s good to be part of something filled with goodwill, encouragement and positivity.

Three Short Blasts – out today!

Three Short Blasts  (Medium)

Two things have happened in my CWAP life so far today and it’s only seven o’clock in the morning! Three Short Blasts went live with Amazon and my Kindle Scout campaign for Deep State (Acer Sansom #4) ended.

Three Short Blasts can be ordered here Amazon UK and here Amazon US

Three Short Blasts is a collection of three original stories that are not to be found anywhere else. There is one story in each of the three series that I write: The Romney and Marsh Files, Acer Sansom and Booker & Cash.

Going on industry standard word count, the three stories range from forty to sixty pages of a paperback novel in length – significantly longer than short stories but not quite novellas.

There’s also an introduction in the book where I explain the motivation behind it. You can skip that bit if you like and get straight into the reads, which I hope you will enjoy.

I’m happy with each of the three short stories. And it feels good to have done something different.

Thanks to all who have pre-oredered a copy of this title. I sincerely hope that you find something in the stories to enjoy. Be sure to let me know, please.

*

Whether Deep State gets taken up for Amazon’s Kindle Scout programme will depend on how those who make the decisions at Amazon view the potential profits to be made from the book and probably that’s all that matters. And why shouldn’t that be it? Bookselling is a business. I’m really not sweating their decision. It could be good for me if they say yes and it would certainly be something different for me to get involved with. But if they say no then I’ll just self-publish it. It’s ready to go.

My sincere thanks to everyone who ‘Nominated’ the book on Kindle Scout and who helped publicise the campaign. I’m very grateful to you all for all your efforts and support.

Once more I would like to repeat my writer’s mantra: writers are nothing without readers. (It’s a mantra. They’re supposed to be repeated.)

 

A White-Knuckle Christmas (R&M File #7)

A WHITE-KNUCKLE CHRISTMAS 1030 1

A White-Knuckle Christmas (Romney and Marsh File #7) is now available for pre-order here Amazon UK and here Amazon US . Release date is 26th March. Just three weeks away.

Here’s the blurb:

A particularly nasty series of crimes is casting a pall over the members of CID and an unusually white Dover in the run up to Christmas on the south coast of England.

The festive period is further marred by the report of a pair of suspicious sudden deaths on the frozen outskirts of the town.

Detective Inspector Romney and his loyal team are dealing with evil on all fronts and against a ticking calendar.

It’s a little bit amazing to think that there are now seven books and a short story featuring Dover CID. These books and the characters have been a prominent part of my life for nearly five years. Good years. (The earliest saved file I have on my computer is June, 2011. Rope Enough was originally going to be called An Open Mind.)

I moved to Turkey seven years ago. I started writing in the second year (I think.) The R&M Files were not the first books I wrote. The first was Dirty Business (Acer Sansom #1).

Romney and Marsh were not originally the names of my two central characters. They were called Moses and Stone. My thinking was that I would write ten books involving crimes based on the ten commandments. (That didn’t last long.) So it was Moses as in Mount Sinai and Stone as in set in. I can’t remember how long I kept these names for but it must have been a good while. (I wrote the first three in the series before I self-published any of them.)

Then one day I was watching the news and saw that a guy called Mitt Romney was running for American president. I remember thinking that Romney was a good strong name for a character. Because I was born and bred on Romney Marsh it is impossible for me to hear the name Romney without then associating the word Marsh. I had my epiphany on a settee in front of the telly eating a kebab. I have never regretted the decision to change the names. Not for a moment.

I don’t know if there will be another Romney and Marsh File. That’s not me being anything other than honest with myself. Don’t worry, there is no Reichenbach Falls incident in #7. I’ve had a very good run with them. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every one and I like #7 too. I might just quit while I’m ahead and #7 has a sort of ‘Christmas special’ feel to it for me.

Why would I make the decision to bring the series to a close? Look at the picture below. My head is full of writing ideas. And now the walls around my desk are. It’s like I put a shotgun in my mouth and pulled the trigger. I have three other projects that I’m really keen to have a bash at. (One of them will be at least two books.) And none of them is in my usual writing genre. It seems a strange thing to think let alone write (this is my writer’s diary where I share just about everything) but I almost feel like I’ve served my apprenticeship and it’s time to move on.

new projects

I’m leaving here in five weeks. I will not be living a writer’s life for the next four or five months. I hope to find time to write but it won’t be like it is now. I have more pressing commitments of the property maintenance variety to be getting on with. (Groan.)

So assuming I get back to writing full-time next September and I crack on with one or two of my other projects, I would not be looking at another Romney and Marsh File for well over a year. What kind of writer will I be then? Will I even want to go back to them? I could. I’ve left it open for them to return. I just don’t know how I’m going to feel.

So that’s two series of mine that might well have seen the last book in each. I’m currently still hammering away at Booker & Cash #3 and I have a start on Booker & Cash #4 in the bank. They are both high on my list to finish. And I can see myself writing more in that series.

*

In other CWAP news. Three Short Blasts will be out next Saturday. I’m looking forward to seeing how that goes down. Copies can be pre-ordered here Amazon UK and here Amazon US

Three Short Blasts  (Medium)

Three Short Blasts is a collection of three original stories that are not to be found anywhere else. There is one story in each of the three series that I write: The Romney and Marsh Files, Acer Sansom and Booker & Cash.

Going on industry standard word count, the three stories range from forty to sixty pages of a paperback novel in length – significantly longer than short stories but not quite novellas.

There’s also an introduction in the book where I explain the motivation behind it. You can skip that bit if you like and get straight into the reads, which I hope you will enjoy.

 

and…

Deep State (Large)

Regular blog followers will know that I have enrolled a book in the Kindle Scout programme. Deep State (Acer#4) has got a week to go. For any one who hasn’t seen about it and who would like to know more, please see this blog-post and follow the link therein. Kindle Scout – Deep State (Acer#4)

Alternatively just click on this link and then the blue ‘Nominate’ button if you would rather not subject yourself to my begging letter and you’d just like to support me. Nothing wrong with that. 🙂

Kindle Scout – Deep State

 

That’s all folks! Have a good weekend everyone. 🙂

What can I do… sometimes?

What can I do… sometimes? This might not mean much to anyone outside Turkey but in recent years this English phrase has become integrated into Turkish everyday speech. It is often followed with much knowing laughter by those around who ‘get it’. And just about everyone does.

It is a phrase that was coined by Fatih Terim, the manager of the Turkish national football team. He said it in a TV interview. It’s been adopted into popular culture by millions to explain away things that they feel they can’t do anything about – situations out of their control. It’s usually accompanied by a shrug and a countenance of resignation.

What can I do… sometimes is the phrase that occurred to me when faced with my dilemma of when to self-publish A White-Knuckle Christmas (Romney and Marsh File #7). It sums up my feelings perfectly.

A WHITE-KNUCKLE CHRISTMAS 1030 1

The issue is that it’s almost spring and the book, as the title and cover suggest, has a winter/Christmas backdrop. Will readers want to read a book about winter and Christmas in the spring? I gave this more thought than I really should have. Because the answer is a simple one for a CWAP writer like me: self-publish and be damned.

Look, the book is written. It came back from the menders this week. I’ve formatted it and it just needs a read-though. It’s almost ready to leave the nest.

It’s a Romney and Marsh File, it’s not exactly Harry Potter, is it? Why would I wait another nine months to publish it? OK, so it might lose some impact because of the time of year. I will have to accept that. But I wouldn’t mind betting that in ten years time if this book is still floating around in the ether readers won’t care when they read it. I read winter-themed books in the summer and summer- themed books in the winter. The same goes for watching films and I always manage to enjoy them out of season if it’s something I can enjoy in the first place. Believe it or not, this week at the gym Wham’s Last Christmas was played over the sound system. In February. And guess what? As I bench pressed my usual 10kg I caught myself singing along.

I’m a CWAP. I can’t afford to have a finished novel sitting on my computer for the ‘right time’ to publish it. Being a CWAP is as much about momentum as it is about anything. And anyway, one of the primary reasons I write is to be read. There are a good number of R&M Files readers out there who I know want me to release this one as soon as it’s ready – for them, like me, the R&M Files is about the characters. It doesn’t matter where or when in the year they are. Why would I disappoint them with a commercial strategy? Something that could, ironically, end up back-firing and hurting the R&M Files as a commercial entity, if we must look at them in that way. Let’s face it, I’m not such a successful CWAP that it’s going to make that much difference when it comes out.

And what if I were to get hit by a bus tomorrow? I do live in Turkey you know, where to fifty percent of the drivers at large a red light at a traffic crossing  means proceed with caution (ha!). Who would put R&M#7 out then? The sobering truth is there is no one. I’m not kidding.

For any one who doesn’t want to read it now, for whatever reason, I suppose I would just have to hope that if you like the R&M Files you’ll download it and keep it for Christmas or download it at Christmas when you’re in the mood for a cover with a snow-storm on it.

A White-Knuckle Christmas (Romney and Marsh File #7) is going to soon be available for pre-order. I just haven’t decided on a release date yet. Having Three Short Blasts coming out on the 12th is a spanner in the works. I’ll probably have made a decision by next week.

Maybe I can whet an appetite or two with the blurb:

A particularly nasty series of crimes is casting a pall over the members of CID and an unusually white Dover in the run up to Christmas on the south coast of England.

The festive period is further marred by the report of a pair of suspicious sudden deaths on the frozen outskirts of the town.

Detective Inspector Romney and his loyal team are dealing with evil on all fronts and against a ticking calendar.

*

Three Short Blasts is still available for pre-order here Amazon UK and here Amazon US

Three Short Blasts  (Medium)

Three Short Blasts is a collection of three original stories that are not to be found anywhere else. There is one story in each of the three series that I write: The Romney and Marsh Files, Acer Sansom and Booker & Cash.

Going on industry standard word count, the three stories range from forty to sixty pages of a paperback novel in length – significantly longer than short stories but not quite novellas.

There’s also an introduction in the book where I explain the motivation behind it. You can skip that bit if you like and get straight into the reads, which I hope you will enjoy.

 

*

Deep State (Large)Regular blog followers will know that I have enrolled a book in the Kindle Scout programme. Deep State (Acer#4) has got a couple of weeks to go. For any one who hasn’t seen about it and who would like to know more, please see this blog-post and follow the link therein. Kindle Scout – Deep State (Acer#4)

This week I’ve been back working on Booker & Cash #3 Waifs and Strays. It’s been slow going as I get back into a B&C frame of mind but at least it’s moving forward again. I do get grouchy if I am forced to go for long periods without writing something new.

Six weeks and counting.

Spinning yarns.

 

Another week slips by in my CWAP life. And another busy one. I know how this guy feels. Just replace the plates with books. Oh, and replace the smile with an exhausted grimace.

I have three finished books in various stages of post-production. Three Short Blasts is available for pre-order. Still only 99p and 99c while stocks last. Available here Amazon UK and here Amazon US

(Interesting fact: did you know that three short blasts is a maritime signal for ‘I am operating astern propulsion?’ [snigger] In other words ‘I’m going backwards’. Here’s hoping that doesn’t turn out to be a portentous title regarding the consensus of opinion for this offering.)

I ummed and ahhed about how to release this and when. In the end I chose the release date to coincide with the date that my Kindle Scout campaign finishes – Saturday, March 12th. My thinking is that if Deep State doesn’t make it through to consideration for publication then I’ll have something to cheer myself up with, and if Deep State does make it then I’ll be celebrating with a book release. Sound like a plan? It works for me. (If you have no idea what I’m on about, see further down the page.)

Three Short Blasts  (Medium)Three Short Blasts is a collection of three original stories that are not to be found anywhere else. There is one story in each of the three series that I write: The Romney and Marsh Files, Acer Sansom and Booker & Cash.

Going on industry standard word count, the three stories range from forty to sixty pages of a paperback novel in length – significantly longer than short stories but not quite novellas.

There’s also an introduction in the book where I explain the motivation behind it. You can skip that bit if you like and get straight into the reads, which I hope you will enjoy.

Deep State (Large)

 

Deep State (Acer#4) is with the Kindle Scout programme. Please see this link to an older blog-post for details. Kindle Scout – Deep State (Acer#4)

That’s still got nearly three weeks left to run and I’ve just about run out of people to hassle to vote for me. Bugger! (Ha! I’ve even asked my children. I repeat: ha! My son said, ‘I didn’t know you’d written a book.’) I would like to say a huge thank you to all who have nominated the book for consideration by Amazon and please consider a cherry on top if you were able to retweet me or re-blog me or post my begging letter on your FB page. (This is now reading like a foreign language.) It’s all helped tremendously and I am very grateful. If you haven’t YET, I would be very grateful if you would consider doing so. Deep State needs exposure and nominations!!!

The Kindle Scout programme is quite demanding on the social networking side of things. It’s important to keep the profile of the entry in question in the ‘Hot and Trending’ list for as long as possible during its 30 day campaign for it to have any chance of the Amazon team even looking at it. There are no guarantees that they will publish anything, no matter how popular a book has seemed with nominators.

A WHITE-KNUCKLE CHRISTMAS 1030 1.jpgAnd this week I finished my final read-throughs of A White-Knuckle Christmas (Romney and Marsh File #7). That’s now gone off to the menders.

Regarding R&M#7 I have a question for anyone who might have an opinion to share regarding the answer.

R&M#7 is set in the run up to a very white Christmas on the south coast. If all goes to plan, the book will be available for submitting to Amazon in March. The book has a Christmassy title and a Christmassy cover. Is it something that readers will want to read in spring, with the winter well behind us? Or should I keep it back and make it a Christmas 2016 release?
I have my own view, but I would be very interested in the views of others.

What am I up to now? Let me just have a look at that little list I made for myself back in early January.

1) Release Deep State Acer#4 – check, sort of.
2) Release A White-Knuckle Christmas (Romney and Marsh File #7) – nearly there.
3) Finish and release Booker & Cash #3 Waifs and Strays (provisional title).
4) Finish and release the short story bundle. – check
5) Devote some serious time to getting my books more widely known about and doing some promotional work. – check

Looks like it’s back to Booker & Cash #3 – Waifs and Strays. I’m actually looking forward to doing some writing again.

I’ve got seven weeks left before I’m out of here. Yikes!

Kindle Scout

Deep State (Large)

Hello all my dear readers/followers.

I have submitted a book that I’ve written to an Amazon publishing scheme. The book is called Deep State. It’s the fourth in my Acer Sansom series. The Amazon scheme is called Kindle Scout.

How Kindle Scout works is that readers with an Amazon account can view the submissions made by writers like me and select up to three books that they’d like to see published by Amazon. It doesn’t cost the reader anything to participate except a bit of time. In fact, if one of the books that the reader shows their support for gets taken on by Amazon at the end of the process then that reader receives a free ebook copy of that title.

If you have an Amazon account, please would you take a look at my submission here Kindle Scout – Deep State and if you think it’s a book you would be happy to support, I’d be really grateful if you’d click on the ‘Nominate’ button. That’s all there is to it. Oh, and if you could see your way to sharing this post on your social media, I would be sincerely thankful for that. Thanks. 🙂

Best wishes and thanks for reading.
Oliver Tidy

A Bookish Valentine’s Day…blog-post.

 

 

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Say it with simit.

When I went to pick up the morning simit bread today the woman behind the counter popped this little gift into my bag. (I know it looks like a heart-shaped turd, but it’s bread.)

After I stopped panicking that I’d forgotten it was Valentine’s Day, it got me thinking about the occasion (and about how I could rescue myself from the promise of a bad day at home because of my forgetfulness). I could have presented my wife with the heart-shaped simit and pretended that I’d paid for it, but by the time the idea occurred to me on the walk home from the shop I’d already eaten it.

 

A flower in bloom, like first love, is beautiful to behold: fresh, fragrant, perfect. It is no surprise that they are chosen by many a romantic to give to the apple of their eye on Valentine’s Day. But… they wilt. They become ugly and smelly and depressing to look at. A metaphor for our chosen loved one, perhaps? Eventually, we can bear to put up with them no more and they are discarded, thrown away on life’s rubbish heap. It’s one of the reasons I don’t give flowers. (The other reason is, I’m tight.)

 

Chocolates! Mmmm… another safe staple for many a Romeo to fall back on and many a Juliet to get fat on. Remove the cellophane of the packet, lift the lid, inhale the trapped scents of long-sealed  c h o c o l a t e… it’s almost sexual, isn’t it? The box is full, virgin, unspoilt, unmolested, a treasure of tastes and torment, treats and truffles. But wait… chocolates get eaten, they disappear, soon they are all gone, there is nothing left… a bit like love, perhaps? And then, like love, it all turns to shit. Literally. That box of chocolate, that token of love is turned by your insides into poo. You squeeze it out and flush it away. A stinking mass of waste, again, literally. Gone. Forgotten. It’s one of the reasons I don’t give chocloates. (The other reason is, I’m tight.)

Flowers and chocolates: landfill and shit. What a waste in every sense of the word.

This is the speech I made to my wife this morning before she stopped speaking to me and threw something heavy in my direction. It was only half of my intended speech. She didn’t want to hear anymore. I don’t think that she could have over her sobbing behind the locked bathroom door.

Three Short Blasts  (Medium)The rest of it went like this. A book. Is there a more complete, more personal, longer lasting, more multi-sensory pleasure, more multi-layered gift that one civilised person can give to another with whom they experience feelings of deep and enduring love for than a book – new or old? I don’t think so. As well as all of the above a book is a present that can be opened again and again. That’s why I pre-ordered you, my sweet, a copy of my latest book Three Short Blasts.

Her response probably would have gone something like: It’s not even a real book. It’s a crappy electronic file. You only pre-ordered it to get your sales figures and your Amazon chart position up.

Despite marrying me, she’s not completely stupid.

For anyone out there looking for a late Valentine’s Day gift for the love of your life, here are pre-order links. Amazon UK Amazon US

And at £0.99 and $0.99 a copy you won’t find many cheaper presents out there. Say it with an electronic file.

Here’s the Amazon sales page blurb in case you need a little more convincing.

Three Short Blasts is a collection of three original stories that are not to be found anywhere else. There is one story in each of the three series that I write: The Romney and Marsh Files, Acer Sansom and Booker & Cash.

Going on industry standard word count, the three stories range from forty to sixty pages of a paperback novel in length – significantly longer than short stories but not quite novellas.

There’s also an introduction in the book where I explain the motivation behind it. You can skip that bit if you like and get straight into the reads, which I hope you will enjoy.

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As regular followers of this blog will know, last Sunday Rope Enough (R&M File #1) was the subject of a book promotion excercise that saw it go to #1 in the Amazon free charts. That’s the chart for every single free book on Amazon. Quite amazing. I’m still trying to get my head around that. There must be thousands of free books on Amazon. Maybe tens of thousands. In its first twelve hours it was downloaded nearly 6000 times. I thought it would quickly drop back down the charts but it stayed at #1 for 24 hours (awesome) and then hung around in the top 10 for most of the week. A few thousand more downloads later and today it’s at #20. Still good and a great boost to the book and the R&M Files’ profile for a mere $50.

There have been some good knock-on sales for the other R&M Files. That’s what it was all about.

Hits on my blog were also up. Before the promotion I was averaging about 30 or 40 hits a day. All this week I’ve been averaging over 100 hits a day, presumably from downloaders of Rope Enough checking out my links. Great stuff! Lots of exposure.

Talking of the blog: a small milestone this week: I posted my 200th blog-post. By my calculations that’s quite a lot of CWAP.

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Get ready for launch!!!

Deep State (Large)

Another great cover in the Acer series. Worth a vote, no?

Fiends, Romanians, country-bumpkins…that doesn’t seem right.

Readers! Lend me your… support.

I can’t remember the last time I left my writer’s desk. Plates of food just turn up. I clear them. They disappear. There’s a bucket under the desk for you know what. It gets emptied. Don’t ask me who by. I smell and I need a shave. These are busy, busy days in my writing life. And now I have something else to attend to.

Consider this a cry for help, a call to arms. I’m seeking assistance from my lovely readers. (I’ll even accept it from the horrible ones. No names – Betsy.)

I’ve enrolled Acer #4 in a fairly new Amazon initiative. It’s called Kindle Scout.

Here’s a link to see what it’s all about. Click on ‘How it works’. Pleeeeeeease look.

Kindle Scout

Here is my submission page. Pleeeeeeeeease look.

Acer #4 Kindle Scout submission.

I truly believe it would be a great boost to me the writer and to the first three of the Acer Sansom novels if my campaign was successful. (Does anyone who reads this blog really want me to have to go back to teaching little children? Would you want that on your consciences? I’m thinking of them for a change, not me. No one wants someone who took a year’s sabbatical to follow a dream and who failed to end up in a room with thirty screaming five-year-olds. That’s never going to end well. Just think about what could happen. You could be legal accessories to something terrible if you don’t help me.)

Before you all rush off to share this link and re-blog and spread the word. I have one word to say. STOP! PLEASE, DON’T SHARE THIS BLOG-POST ANYWHERE. That’s eight words.

Why don’t I want it shared? Am I insane?

Apparently, the best thing to do when running a Kindle Scout campaign is to spread out any votes you can hope to count on from readers, friends, family etc. If everyone votes on day one then the book might become ‘Hot’ for a day and then end up as frozen as a snowman’s todger by the end of thirty days. (I wonder how many votes that simile just cost me.) It’s up to me to try to find a way to keep my submission on the boil so to speak. I will be sharing on Facebook and Twitter etc. But later. NOT NOW! This campaign lasts for thirty days. I thought I would make my blog followers my first port of call. (Feeling privileged or disgracefully used?)

OK. All that said, and I hope understood, I want to say this in all seriousness. I’m only asking you to look at my submission. If it’s something you would like to support please do so. If you don’t like what you read who will know if you vote for someone else? (God will know, that’s who. And He and I are in regular contact. JOKE!) You get three votes by the way.

What’s in it for you? Whoever you vote for you’ll know you’re helping them to achieve a dream. And if they get taken on by Amazon, if you voted for their book, you get a free ebook of it when it gets published. Good, eh?

I said please don’t share this blog-post but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want all of you who will back me to tell everyone you know who has an Amazon account to get stuck in. Just whisper it or text it or stop people in the street or make a quick call to a family member. It’s not a secret!

Now don’t waste another moment. Follow the link above and vote for ME!!!!! (or whoever.)

Do it for the children or be prepared to live with the consequences, maybe while rotting in jail.