And so to shed…

shed view.jpgAs followers of this blog will know I am currently embroiled in a building project. It is proving to be a real time and energy black hole for me to the extent that I have not managed to find either of those most precious commodities, time and energy, for my writing since I’ve been back in the UK. This is becoming a bit of a worry seeing as writing is how I earn a crust these days. As any experienced self-publisher will tell you momentum is vitally important to keeping things going. Not to mention keeping the pennies rolling in.

As well as time and energy sucks, getting involved in a property project can also prove quite costly financially. I’m thinking of jacking in the writing completely and retraining as a plumber, or a plasterer, or a window fitter, or an electrician, or a kitchen fitter, or a carpenter, or a tree surgeon (I’d be surprised if brain surgeons are on that kind of money an hour). Oh well, in for a penny in for a small fortune. It’s only money, as my dear old dad used to say when he was selling copies of The Big Issue outside Woolworths.

Trouble is money’s what makes the world go round. (Or is it love?) Whatever, everything seems in short supply at the moment. My world is in danger of coming to a grinding halt on its fragile axis. What happens then? The only thing I’m qualified to do is teach primary school children – a sub-section of society my psychiatrist has expressed grave concerns regarding me having future dealings with.

This week some idiot, I forget who, suggested I should ‘do my finances’. This was after my debit card had been declined for the fourth time in an hour. I took this advice and yesterday my frail and aged mother found me curled up, sobbing in the corner of my writer’s retreat (aka the garden shed). Being old and frail didn’t stop her kicking me in the ribs with accompanying shouts to ‘man up’. (I’m glad she was wearing those novelty Minion slippers I gave her for her ninety-fifth birthday and not the hobnail boots she still insists on wearing to Tescos.)

The Fallen Agent(1)So here I am. Back at my desk in the shed. I was here yesterday, too. I’m working on The Fallen Agent. It’s written. I’m editing. I’m not only enjoying the read, I’m loving being back to what I do best: long periods of sitting on my arse, staring out of the window interspersed with brief and feverish hammerings at the computer keyboard.

I’ll be back at the money pit tomorrow, but for today I’m back living the dream.

Have a lovely Sunday, everyone. And if any of you still go to church, please include my name and the words ‘winning lottery ticket’ if you get to talk with the man upstairs today.Image result for shed quotes


32 thoughts on “And so to shed…

  1. Keep up the good work and will give a share of my lottery winnings when I win to build u a big shed with all a writer needs.

  2. I imagine many people adopted the pose in Munch’s ‘The Scream’ when they read that. But we can all now breathe again. Oliver’s still in there. Somewhere. I was worried when you first told me you may have to stop writing, but I’m glad to see you’re back where you belong. Don’t forget, you didn’t always write full-time, you had a day job. The muse has not deserted you. Now get on with it, lad! I need a book to read.

    • Thank you ma’am. By my finger nails I continue to hold on to the dream πŸ˜‰ You are right, of course – I did have a day job and wrote. The difference is I was able to write at the day job – the kids in my classes never seemed to mind. We had an arrangement – don’t bother me and I’ll pass you all. πŸ™‚
      Best wishes

  3. Can’t beat a man shed , I’ve got seven sheds but somehow they end up getting full up with junk way to precious to ever throw away, I’d go for an eighth but been threatened with divorce if another wooden building appears, enjoy your weekend πŸ‘

    • Hi Steve,
      Haha… you’ve just described my house. It’s why I’m in the shed, which is slowly filling up with crap. Who wouldn’t rescue a wheelbarrow without a wheel from a skip? It could come in useful one day. I might even find a wheelbarrow wheel and then it will complete and once again useful.
      Best wishes.

  4. Glad your back at your writing, just finished Poor Hands, brilliant read. I do like the combination of Booker and Cash. Thanks Oliver. Jay.

    • Hi Jay,
      Many thanks for your comment. Good to know you enjoyed the read. I like those guys too. They remind me of me and my fifth wife, God rest her soul. πŸ™‚
      Best wishes.

  5. Look forward to this book Oliver. And if you do decide to retrain I have a big building project for you in Nottingham. City of Robin Hood. DHL. Not the delivery company but the author. Torvill and Dean. Stanley Middleton – another author – Rolls and Royce, Raleigh bikes. IVF. DNA – well Leicester – and the MRI scanner, oh and not forgetting Jessie Boot and the painter Laura Knight, and the actor Robert Lindsey.
    Ran out of people but there are more .
    Glad you’ve got your mojo back.

    • Hi Pat,
      Another building project? Just what I need ;-))))
      The mojo doesn’t quite feel back, yet, but there is a strange smell in the air. That could be the out of date chicken korma ready meal mum pretended to have cooked from scratch last night. (I found the packaging in the bin.)
      That’s quite a roll call for Nottingham. I’m afraid Romney Marsh can’t boast anything like it, however, it is home to the poorest, most miserable git on the planet. πŸ™‚
      Best wishes

    • Hi Janet,
      Amny thanks for your comment. Good to know you’re looking for another ‘Tidy’ read. Things are progressing. I’ll make announements on the blog nearer the time.
      Best wishes

  6. If your buiding project is owt like t’stories tha writes it’ll be a reet grand job . KEEP UP the good work old lad .

  7. Oh my a” tragedy” blog!! My family has always hated my favorite quote, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger”. Is kinda like a verbal version of your mother’s kick in ribs. (love the vision of her doing so in minion slippers) I agree with the psychiatrist that teaching kids again could be damaging at this point. (To your state of mind & their safety) I could say ” stop spending money til you have some, but that advice never goes over well eather. I have faith that you will get through this with your sanity only grazed!! Take Care.

    • What my daughter calls a ‘pity post’. πŸ™‚ I’m sure everything will be all right in the end. And if it’s not it won’t be (?) Thanks for your good wishes.
      Best wishes.

  8. Hi Oliver,
    good to see you are back at the writing. I am reading Booker and Cash and so far loving it, apart from a few let’s call them not quite accurate information! :-)!
    We too have embarked on a money pit, namely renovating a church, and have run in to difficulties, so I too feel your pain.
    I guess it’s about balance Mornings for building project and afternoon for writing! Only a suggestion!
    Well keep keep up all the good work, remember there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, it may be a long tunnel, but it’s there shining brightly. πŸ˜‰

    • Hi Roz,
      It’s really a case of having to be back at the writing. But I sure have missed it. Yes, I need to find more of a balance. The project won’t go on for ever and then… well hopefully I’ll have more time on my hands.
      Sorry to hear you’ve run into problems with your building work. It’s hard enough without that. Best of luck for overcoming them.
      Last time I saw the light at the end of the tunnel it was a train coming.
      Best wishes.

  9. Love you Oliver and thanks for the post. I’m sure you will soon be churning out the books again. You are so talented. Take care.
    Rach. Folkestone x

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