Here it is.

Here it is.

Writer’s diary: stardate: 01.04.2014

(Amazon were supposed to take twelve hours to process the book. That would have been tomorrow morning. It took an hour. So I might as well get cracking now and then I can go to bed. It’s nearly April 1st in my time zone.)

As Roy Wood might be tempted to sing, were he into self-publishing novels these days (although why would he be? With the abundance of seasonal gravy he spoons up every year off that Christmas turkey of a song he probably spends most of his time fishing. Git!)

Well here it is merry release day everybody’s grabbing one! Look to the future now it’s only just begu…u…uuu…uuuun.

Just before you rush off to download your copy of A Dog’s Life (The Fourth Romney and Marsh File) to give it its full and proper title (links to Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com at the end of this post) allow me to share something with you.

A virtual acquaintance of mine recently related to me something the late and great Truman Capote claimed about writing. (I have since confirmed his words with my own Internet research, so there is no need for you to doubt me…this time.)

Mr Capote is reported to have said: Finishing a book is like you took a child out in the back yard and shot it.

Let me tell you this is not true. It is my experience that shooting a child in the back yard involves a lot more police and media attention. It was also a lot messier than uploading a simple ebook, although I’d have to admit to similar levels of anguish when both tasks were completed.

Anyway, here’s hoping that the newsworthiness of my little experiment encourages a healthy impact on sales figures. Who knows, it might even catch on as a form of self-promotion, something all us aspiring wanna-bes are constantly trying to be innovative regarding. I’m just pushing the boundaries. It’s what innovators do.

Please buy my book because my legal fees look like being quite high for this one and I’m already getting a strong sense that my defence is not going to be as sympathetically received as I might have expected. Let’s just hope that the jury has at least seven people on it who’ve self-published a book on Amazon. Actually, looking at the number of self-published books on Amazon these days I’d be surprised if there weren’t…at least.

Here’s to a speedy acquittal.

Dear reader,

The R&M Files now number four. They don’t have to be read in order. They do all work as stand-alone novels. However, to get the most out of each it is recommended that they are consumed in the sequence in which they were prepared, a bit like the courses of a good meal. (Who wants to eat ice-cream before a bowl of soup?)

The first Romney and Marsh File Rope Enough is perma-free to download here on Amazon and other major ebook outlets across the globe as a try before you buy.

So, to the blurb for this one:

He’s alive! Oh, in the name of God! Now I know what it feels like to be God!

Contrary to vicious Internet rumours, DI Romney is not dead. He returns in this, the fourth Romney and Marsh File, to lead his team of Dover detectives in the hunt for doers of dirty deeds. He’s also looking for answers to more personal mysteries.

The wind of change is blowing through this town. Whether we like it or not, this growth of local crime is a complete fiction.

Broken homes, broken dreams and broken bodies are just some of the cheerier aspects of the R&M Files that goes to show sometimes it’s a dog’s life.

Full money back guarantee if you don’t enjoy this book. (T&C apply)




33 thoughts on “Fetch!

  1. Phew was worried with it being available from 1st April you might have been having a bit of fun but nope! My husband said that there couldn’t be a fourth but here we are ready to read! I tell everyone about your books, after all I am almost local to Dover, just a bit further up the M20. So many books to read but this has just leapt to the top of the pile. Anyway must go, got what promises to be a great read to get stuck into ……. X

  2. Wow, three fab 5* reviews already on Amazon. These people must be speed readers or insomniacs maybe? Of course I’ve had to buy it, but as I have two other books to read and the fact that I will definitely be savouring this book in strictly rationed portions, means that I am afraid you’ll have to wait a while for my review Mr Tidy.

    • My thoughts exactly. A great start/relief to get some early posıtıve feedback.Thanks for your purchase. As always, I look forward to seeing what you make of it.
      Best wishes.

      • Well, I couldn’t resist the temptation to start the fourth R&M book, so the other two books, by different authors, will now have to wait. Earlier, I read up to where Romney gets bitten, by a little shit. So far so good and I was laughing because we have one,or I should say the wife has one and she couldn’t bite her way out of a paper bag, (the dog not the wife) anyhow laying in bed this morning reading and wifey asked me what was funny, so I told her about your books (again) and you’ll be delighted, because this time she heard me and bought five of your books. Hope she enjoys them, or I’m in trouble.

      • Russell,
        Now that is a story with a happy ending (for me anyway.) Please, pass my sincere thanks on to your wife for the downloads. Every little helps.
        Funny that you, or rather your wife, has a certain breed of dog. (Are we allowed to say ‘toy’ dog?, or are owners offended by that term?)
        Anyway, good to learn that I jumped your reading queue. I hope the read doesn’t disappoint and look forward to your opinion, as always.
        Best wishes.
        (I like the paper bag comment.)

      • In answer to your question ‘Are we allowed to call (Shih Tzus) toy breeds?’ Well I wouldn’t be offended, because I thought that they were in that Kennel Club group, but on checking, I see that they are actually in the utility group. God knows why? Maybe she should sleep in the utility room from now on. Suki is a rescue dog, so the Kennel Club wouldn’t recognise her anyway, but maybe whilst she’s in the utility room she could take the kettle off again. What nonsense, have you got me started on? Back to reading your book now.

  3. Book four read and reviewed! They just get better every time and I did smile to myself at the comments on the world of publishing, which made me wonder where are the TV companies? Please don’t tell me they only read physical books still as I, like many others do not understand why on earth Romney and Marsh aren’t on the google box! Trust me I do much prefer books but when you look at what is on it does beg the question why?! Sorry rant over.

    Yes I loved the book, but did feel that Joy’s relationship with her sister was very much underplayed and could have been developed further. I loved the relationship with Romney and Grimes though and know there is much more to come from Superintendent Vine who right now is very much an unknown entity, it will be interesting to see how she and Romney get along in the future. Don’t know how you would work it in but the Hop Farm nr Paddock Wood has a musical festival now, when I found out about it the other day I did think oooo what a great settling for a Romney and Marsh File lol! Bit off their home patch though.

    Well as is my way I had to find an error, don’t panic only a small one where the word “welsh” as opposed to “welch” ! Guess it is being Welsh that made me spot it lol!!

    Thanks for another great read and I shall continue to sing your praises whenever I can, spreading the word about Oliver Tidy.

    • Hi Helen,
      Many and sincere thanks to you for taking a chance on book four and then for taking the time to comment so positively both on Amazon and here. I really appreciate it.
      With most of Romney’s comments on self-publishing I was really just sending myself up, as a self-publisher. It occurs to me now, maybe too late, that some readers who don’t know me might think I’m being high and mighty. 😦 Oops.
      Anyway, very pleased that you liked this one. If only there was someone in the BBC who felt the same way. Sigh. Maybe I should write to them and insist.
      Your comments regarding Joy, her sister and Supt. Vine are noted, as is your correction. Thanks for that. I always want to know them.
      I fear the Hop Farm is off Dover CID’s patch. Maybe Dover CC could set up a rival event?!
      And finally, thanks so much for spreading the word. It’s that kind of help that I really need.
      Best wishes.
      PS I do wonder sometimes just what proportion of readers in the UK have ereaders. I think we should be told.

      • It would be very interesting to know the proportion of people who read using ereaders or tablets, if you get the answer let me know! Don’t worry I didn’t think you were being high and mighty in fact your observations made me smile, especially your comment about others deciding what should be published this deciding what we are allowed to read. Am with you all the way and if people are reading anything that has to be good especially for the writers. So no R&M for a while now so started on Booker and Cash and read until 2am this morning! At this rate you won’t be able to write fast enough for me …… Keep up the good work.

      • I wonder if the ereader answer is out there. Probably, everything else is. I might try to find it.
        I agree, if people are reading what’s the worst that can happen. (Mind you, I wonder what books Hitler read as a teenager. Maybe they should be banned.)
        I look forward to seeing how B&C works out for you. Thanks for giving that a go.
        Best wishes for an early night. 🙂

  4. I finished #4 today. I loved it and will post reviews on Amazon and Goodreads ASAP. I thought the e-reader and self publisher aspects were a nice touch. Meg McGuire

    • Hı Meg
      Great to have your comment here on the blog. Of course, I’ve seen your wonderful comments on Goodreads and Amazon.com for my books. Thanks very much for them. I hoped that you’d get a copy of R&M4 and that you’d enjoy it. I’ll reply to your comment on Amazon when I get home tonight.
      Best wishes and thanks for your continuing interest in my writing.
      Best wishes.

  5. Hi Oliver,
    Finished ‘A Dog’s Life last night; A stonking good read. Characters really fleshed out in this book. As always we were kept on our toes, not only by the parallel investigations of two separate crimes, but the complexity of the plots. I suspect a frisson of sexual chemistry between the grumpy Romney and his boss, Vine. And the fact he was so protective towards Joy Marsh was very touching. Trust there is a No.5 on the cards.
    Best Wishes, Pat.

    • Hi Pat,
      Thanks for another great comment. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for saying so.
      Funny you should mention some sexual chemistry between those two. It has occurred to me, mainly because I think that it would be the worst thing for both of them in the long run. And I can’t help but be attracted to disastrous relationships. Ask my mum. (Not that we’ve had one, I hasten to add…good or disastrous…not in that way…I mean we get on well enough…as mother and son…with fifteen hundred miles separating us. Look I know I come from Romney Marsh but we’re not all incestuous.)
      What did Shakespeare say? Never mind.
      Number 5 incubating in my head.
      Best wishes.

      • Hi Oliver,
        It seems any relationship Romney has with a woman, will prove disastrous. It appears he doesn’t think in ‘long haul’ terms. Or have I got him wrong?
        Best wishes. Pat.

      • I think you know him very well, Pat. The ‘long haul’ is beyond him, but I fear he won’t accept that fact. He can’t. He suffers from a particular stupidity, you see? R&M 5 – I feel some michief coming on. Could it be Boudicca? 🙂
        Best wishes.

  6. Hmm! Romney and Bodicea, Boudica, Boudicca or whatever she’s called these days? The mind boggles and from the way you’ve described her, it sounds like the title of book 5 might be on that old dog theme again. 🙂

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